Here's the reel deal:
My previous relationship was with a guy whose love for teddies and flowers were more triggered because of me. Fancy? Yes! Boring? No! Worth it? I guess we all have to answer that personally but hmm, I think not. It all went - empty.
And here's the REAL deal:
My boyfriend is my former student. I was his instructor in a subject called Bible as Literature. It did not sail smoothly. It started like a muffin ready to be crushed and poof! Oh yes! It is well now.
So embrace yourselves as I am about to tell you guys what happened, what is happening and what will happen. I hope you enjoy reading this thousand-word short story as I have enjoyed writing it.
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Yes po! I fell in love with one of my students! Some might judge me; some might not understand but here's our story. IF YOU WILL NOT FINISH IT, DON'T START IT. MEDYO MAHABA. So if you're reading this, prolly nasa may estante kami ng UB at nagpapapicture dahil dream namin yun and today is his Graduation Day and this is the first time I will post something about us publicly.
CM Appreciation Post.
It was such a rollercoaster ride. It was not easy. I pushed him away. I had to go through a lot of loops and questioning before I considered this. I was thinking that if I began to fall for him, I might lose my license and that some might believe I am older than him or whatever pero magkaedad lang pala kami, he's older pa nga ng three months sa akin (
😂😂😂).
😂😂😂).
I encouraged myself not to entertain him but he kept on posting to a page where an outburst of feelings made me realized his intentions. His pseudonyms were cookiemonster or cookiecrumble or thatsthewaythecookiecrumbles. I did not know exactly when I began to have feelings for him. For all I know, he saw me as the ayokong-umattend-dyan na prof, mataray na prof, feel-ko-hindi-ako-uubra prof, araw-araw-may-mens prof, ramdam-ko-rin-hindi-ako-papasa prof, nagbibigay-ito-ng-singko prof. He actually gave me an impression on the first day - together with his classmate, they did not attend on the first meeting. So ayun nga, I began teaching them Bible as Literature and not because he was already close to me didn't mean, I needed to adjust his grade or whatever, he got served of what he deserved. Yung grade nya, hindi yun dahil sa akin, yung grade nya dahil pinaghirapan nya, dahil pinaghirapan ng mga students ko. Bes, maging fair pa rin, aba naman!
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| Never a legit date! |
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| Makeup skills I nailed! |
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| Monthsary blues. |
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| Thirdwheelin' |
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| Thirdwheelin' |
So nung naging kami, hindi sya yung sasabihin mong holding hands all the time, padala ng bag please, date here and there. No! Every time magkakasama kami, we had to ask our friends to be with us so others wouldn’t speculate about the real score of what we have. Hindi kami yung playful na mag-jowa sa daan na kung makahagalpak wagas, hindi kami yung overrated relationship na sweetness overload kasi bawal, o kung hindi man bawal, dapat it should set an example na maging professional pa rin tingnan. People became cynical and that’s what we wanted. Denying became a habit but only a few friends knew about us.
Naging kami, the moment na hindi ko na sya student. Para fair, para walang emotional attachment sa grade. Just pa rin dapat. :)
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| My Real Deal! |
Sabi ko nga sa una, it was not easy. Lumalabas kami pero dapat may kasamang third wheel (importante talaga sila) or minsan nga, talagang group. Our relationship was known only by few - well-trusted friends and family.
We started cute and right now, we've matured. Hindi naman maiiwasan ang mga petty fights, ang mga pag-iinarte pero naka-survive naman kami at nagsu-survive pa. My mind is clouded with the idea of us in the future pero right now, we’re treasuring each moment together. Right now, pinagpepray ko ang success ng kanyang board exam. I have no idea with the struggles you are facing on the course you've taken, pero before this year ends, I believe that with the grace of the Lord, there will be an "ENGR." before your name, legit na Mechanical Engineer ka na. AT KAHIT KAMI NA, I CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR HIM and whatever the desires of his heart are. MASARAP MAKASAMA HABAMBUHAY ANG TAONG BUNGA NG PANALANGIN.
Yes! Nakasakit kami. Nasaktan namin ang mga ex’s namin at the same time, matagal din bago nawala yung sakit na yun. We heard and read different posts, comments, judgments about teachers falling in love with their students. He knew it would not be easy to hide it pero nag-survive kami kasi pinili namin na magsurvive, na huwag makinig sa sasabihin ng iba, na maging totoo sa isa’t isa.
Yung survival rate ng relationship namin hindi ko ineexpect na aabot ng magdadalawang taon na.
PINATATAG NA RIN KAMI NG MGA CRITICISMS KASI KAPAG HINDI KA LUMABAN AT NAGPATALO KA, MATATALO RIN ANG RELATIONSHIP NA MERON KAYO.
If you ask why I hid it or why I made it discreet, it's because I was only protecting the relationship. I had to ask a friend's permission (with the bf's agreement) to be his so-called gf (grabe ang sakit nyan at the same time, ang bad ko rin sa part na yan but it’s all part of the plan) so that people will not go abuzz about the real relationship. I had to think of different reasons so other people will not doubt my credibility as a teacher or other students will not become suspicious of what is going on. Hindi man naging madali sa una, nagkaroon man ng mga problemang hindi talaga maiiwasan, nagkakasiraan man ng tiwala, napapagod man, nawawala man ng pagkakataong pag-usapan ang mali, hindi man nagiging consistent sa oras ng dating sa date, hindi man kasing ganda ng mga nasa relationship goals na may expectations vs realities, natatakot man magpatawad pero nagbabago ang tao para sa paglago ninyong dalawa at yun yung ginagawa namin ngayon.
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| My favorite person. :) |
Hindi ko sinasabi na kami na hanggang huli pero umaasa ako ng kami na sa huli kasi mahirap maging inconsistent sa love, ayoko ng napapalitan dahil sa totoo lang, WALA NAMANG MAY GUSTO NA MAGPALIPAT-LIPAT NG MINAMAHAL KASI HINDI NAGING SUCCESSFUL SA PAST. ANG LAHAT NG SERYOSONG NAGMAMAHAL, HINDI HUMAHANAP NG PANIBAGONG KAPALIT NA MAMAHALIN.
I therefore conclude that no matter how hard you try to resist love; it will only magnetize you closer together because love is a force you cannot resist.
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| I did not know about the caption! :) |
Congratulations, my love! After 7 years! Finally (in the flesh! after all the kamay lang, shadow, tshirt, relo, likod, braso, customed status specifically for close friends and family), the long wait is over. Thank you to all our true friends and family who constantly and consistently tell us that great things come to those who wait patiently, and we actually did! Finally, that is us, right there, breathing the moment in bliss and blessed.
Always,
Jhara
xoxo
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